apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
