I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
