i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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