make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
