i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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