Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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