i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
