HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My breasts were aching with rage.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
