Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
