i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I looked at my own cervix.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
