piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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