I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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