I think im going to throw up on grandma
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
