Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
