There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
