Just fell off a train. Bad.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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