I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
