Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
