oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
this is an emotional support booty call
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
