You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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