how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
