somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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