so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
