its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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