I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
