i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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