I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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