your parents love me but you hate me
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
