you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
