i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
