is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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