Christians are straight up FREAKS
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
