I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
