Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
