After last night, I could never be a politician.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
