sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
