Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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