Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
