if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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