you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
