Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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