my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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