we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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