hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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