their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
