Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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