the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
