yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
