you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
