Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
