Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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