Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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