ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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