When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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