The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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