Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my being single is dangerous.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you will always have a special place in my vag
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
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