My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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