ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
