fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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