im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
