yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
