Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
