I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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